Yes...I'm a slacker and my little girl is growing up

I've been so busy with various projects I've started that I just haven't been on the computer much.

I am trying to get my garden going but with our lovely (ummm do you detect a bit of sarcasm?) Utah weather I haven't had much success. I have put a lot of work into getting it ready but I haven't actually been able to plant anything. Here we are, the last day of April and there is actually snow on the ground!!!! WHY???

The best news in our home is that Lilli, my sweet little 3 year old, is finally toilet-trained!!! This is a happy day! Actually she has decided to grow up right before my eyes. For you to understand all that I'm going to lay out here I will have to go back a bit and give you some info.

When Lilli was born we felt like she is the last one, the baby, the caboose. That is a bittersweet conclusion to come to. We wanted to enjoy every second. We also had some hard things going on in our family/extended family that really made us want to hold tight to our children. That being said, we babied and spoiled Lilli. My theory was/is that if you give them the love and patience that they will learn and grow in their own time. I know it sounds strange and hippy like but I had been through this 3 other times. I had tried the crying it out thing, the anxious worrying over when they would sleep through the night etc. So with Lilli I decided not to. I would love her and enjoy the short time that she would be a baby. She ate when she was hungry, slept when she was tired, and as she got older slept with us when she would wake up at night. We rocked her to sleep every night when she was a baby, and laid with her until she fell asleep as she got bigger. They were wonderful quiet moments with our little one.
She was a shy baby/toddler, and I allowed her to be. I didn't make her go to anyone if she didn't want to. (As a side note I have to say...people have a hard time allowing kids, especially babies, be shy. They would want to force her to say hi, or let them hold her. But I didn't allow it. They could say hi to her all they wanted, pet her head etc., but if she was scared we would back off) I don't feel there is a right or wrong way, but this is what worked for me this time around. And I enjoyed it so much more. Not that I didn't enjoy my time with the other kids as babies and toddlers but I was so much more relaxed and focused on enjoying it this time that it was easier and less stressful. This is what worked for us this time.
So, I bring this up because I got a lot of flak about how I was doing things. "She is your 4th, you should know how to do this by now." "Just lay her down and let her fall asleep" "If you let her sleep in your bed you'll have a hard time ever getting her to sleep in her own bed." "She isn't potty-trained yet?!?" "Just make her go to class and she'll stop crying eventually." I'm sure much of these things worked or were true for some people, but it wasn't how I chose to do things.
So as she has grown I've found that yes, my way works too! She has come out of her shell so much on her own as she is ready. She talks to people, she goes to her class at church, she plays at friends houses. All of this from a girl that would barely let family say hi to her! I gave her love and support but never pushed her.
As far as sleeping goes, we have spent many happy, restless nights with our sweet girl snuggled between us. This past month though she has started sleeping in her bed more and more, again on her own. This past week she kicked me out of her bed and said "Mama, I'm a big girl. Give me a kiss and go to your own bed." I wanted to jump for joy and cry all at the same time. And every night since that one she has slept all night in her own bed.
This along with practically toilet-training herself is growing up overload for Lars and me. We actually miss the interrupted sleep that used to be when she slept with us. It is all bitter-sweet but it happens so quickly.

So, though we are far from done with this whole child-rearing thing, I'm happy with the way we chose to do things. I've learned something with each one of my kids, but I finally learned to relax with Lilli. I think I'm a better Mom to all the kids because of it. I hope all parents can find what works for them and that we can all quit thinking that our way is the "right" way. Each kid is different, each parent is different, and each stage of our lives are different. Do what is "right" for you and your family and enjoy the time you have with your kids...I know for me it is going far too fast.