There is good in the world

There are days where you feel like this world is rotten. Days where you see all the horrible news, mean comments, smog and filth, and all the other negative that is out there. You think that all hope is lost.

Then you snap out of it, this funk that enveloped you. You take a breath, look around, and start to see the good. Sometimes it is just little things, and then you start to see more and more. You take another deep breath, this time a little slower, and let it out with a satisfied "Ahhhhh" There is good in the world.


Like this

This little guy was born today. He was born to a wonderful family, one of my favorites. He is perfect, and adorable, and sweet. I'm so happy for him, to be born into a great family, I'm so happy for his family, to have been blessed with a sweet adorable boy, I'm happy for me, that I got to hold him and soak up his sweet presence. 

Like my darling friend who works hard to bring some happiness to some kids that are facing challenges I don't even want to imagine. She is amazing and selfless. She brings and is good in this world. Check it out here and here.

2 friends came to the hospital today when I had to take my Grandpa, to give him a blessing. (A special prayer) It was so kind and lifted his spirits so much. I had to hold back tears knowing that people love Grandpa so much that they will leave their families for a few minutes, at 11:30 at night no less, to help him out. I love having these good people in our lives and count them as family. 

I'm looking forward to this event, the theme of which just happens to be "Seek the Good". Perfect. I can't wait for TOFW to be able to sit and soak up all the uplifting words, music, and gentle spirits of those that present and attend. Happily I'm on the team this year to help spread the word. Get ahold of me if you do want more info. It really is a great event that will lift your spirits for a long time after. My daughter gets to attend the girls version, TOFG, while I'm at the event for women. I'm so grateful for all the hard work that goes into putting on this amazing event. It is put on by a good company, and pulled together by amazing women. I can't wait to hear about more good in the world at this event. 

Like my kids. They are the best good in this world to me. They bring me joy daily, though we have our not so good moments too, they are amazing kids and each bring something precious to my life. 

Like my husband. He works incredibly hard for our family, both at work and at home. He tells me numerous times a day that he loves me and that he thinks I'm wonderful. We have had, and will have, our ups and downs but we laugh together, he holds me when I cry, and we think the same stupid things are funny. That's love.

So I'm snapping out of my funk and choosing to see the good in this world. I am making a goal to find one good thing everyday for a month to remind myself of the good that is out there.  I'm seeking the good and I plan to find it.

What have you seen that is good lately? 

Misplaced sorrow

As I wrote the title of this post it struck me as kind of funny. Usually when we see the word "misplaced" it is referring to an object that is lost. "I misplaced my book" or the like.
With misplaced feelings it really means what it implies; to apply a feeling to the wrong person, idea, or situation. I wish I could misplace my feelings in the other sense sometimes; if I could just "lose" my anxiety, anger, or sadness that would be convenient at times.
In this case I was feeling sorry for myself for the wrong thing. Let me first just say, I had a bout of anxiety tonight and couldn't sleep after, so this post may or may not make sense. So here it goes, for now, it may be edited later.

Tonight we had a get together with Lars' high school friends. When Lars and I were dating, and in the earlier years of marriage, I didn't always feel comfortable or really a part of the group. I felt like an intruder or someone on the outside looking in; I felt displaced. That was hard for me, I've always been able to integrate myself in most any group easily. It wasn't that anyone was unkind or ever did anything to purposely make me feel that way, in fact we were quite close with one of the couples and everyone else was always kind. It came a lot from my own insecurities, from often being on the outside of reminiscing, and from really feeling quite homeless after transplanting from a different state and leaving my family behind.
Over the years I have felt more a part of the group, usually. I have also grown as an individual, as well as Lars and I growing as a couple and family and becoming "The Andersen's" and not just Lars' family.
So now you have some backstory, and like I said, tonight we had a get together with them. Most everyone finished having kids about 5 years ago, just as we thought we were done... before Sam let us know he wanted to be part of our family. Because of this they can easily chat and visit while the kids wander and play, without too many interruptions. Lars and I have a baby, a toddler really. That means at least one of us has to be up following him, helping him, or just generally keeping him safe. It is really a 24/7 job with some naps thrown in. :) So while everyone visited I chased Sam, who really is an amazing ball of energy, he does not sit still too often, and if he does it doesn't last long. At some point in the evening I started to feel sorry for myself, Lars did take turns following Sam but often Sam just wanted mama. I felt sad that I was missing out on the conversations, sad that I was left out, through no ones fault, but left out nonetheless. I was a little put out that they had all seemingly forgotten what it was like to have a baby/toddler.
Late tonight as I lay in bed with Sam as he was falling asleep I realized...I would be more sorry if I missed out on those moments with my baby. I'll have many many years of friend gathering, but just a few short years of my baby being little. It won't be long before he, like my other kids and all the other kids at the gathering, is off playing happily and safely on his own. He won't need more than occasional checking on, and even that doesn't last forever. So I'm choosing to cherish the moments, and few short years, I have to chase, wander with, and play with my baby. I love talking and sharing ideas and thoughts with other adults, but to everything there is a season. Right now is the very short season of my last baby's toddlerhood. I won't be sorry I was present and attentive during this time, I would, however, be sorry if I missed it.

What I should be doing

Can anyone relate? It's late at night, I have a hundred things I should be doing but I'm just wiped out. I had a kid throwing up today, a baby that sensed that he might be playing second fiddle for the day so he wanted to be held all day, and so consequently, I got nothing done, seriously nothing.
Piles of laundry are waiting to be put away, the kitchen really needs to be tidied up, I have paperwork/bills I need to take care of, and I just want to crawl in bed and sleep until morning. Instead I'm snuggling a baby that doesn't want to go down; you know, the half sleep where they only want to sleep if they are in your arms. And so I blog, because I can do that much.

Someday I will sleep through the night, someday I'll sit through all of church and actually be able to tell you what they talked about, and someday I really will miss all this. I know that, you know that, even the old ladies at the grocery store know that. :) That doesn't make it any easier, just reminds me that it is all worth it.
Yeah, I know I write about this a lot. But I'm a mom, I have a baby and I have 15 year old, plus the in betweens. I look at my baby and I look at my 15 year old and I know that my baby will be that big too before I can blink. Sure I have lots of long hard days ahead of me, but I wouldn't trade them for anything. And I'd really like to pause these moments where my sleeping baby is laying on my chest, content as can be. And despite all the undone things around the house, I'm pretty darn content too.

A child's view, and a mother's view too

We have some friends that just moved from their current house to another one about 10 blocks away. Upon hearing of the move of her cute friend in the family she looked up at me quite worried and upset.

"What?! They moved? Oh no!! Will I still see June?"
"Yes, of course" I replied, "The house is pretty close to the old one."
She makes of face of derision and confusion and wonders out loud "Why in the world would they move just to the next door house?"
I try not to laugh at her sweet innocence and how the world is so small to her that close must mean next door since far would mean all the way to Salt Lake City or if someone gets really brave, maybe Disneyland.
"Not quite that close" I reply finally
Relief floods over her face "Oh, well, ok then. I want to play with her soon."

Now I remember why I keep having kids, moments like these lighten your heart and remove any callousness or cynicism you start to develop as an adult interacting with a world that can seem callous or cynical. We need childlike bursts of innocence, emotion, and enthusiasm in our lives.

Yes I know that many moments, and even days, seem hard and long when you have a houseful of kids, but as I've said before, one good moment can wipe out a hundred hard ones. I read a quote recently and it sums up parenthood perfectly..."The days are long but the years are short"
Sure sometimes it feels like there aren't enough hours in the day to get everything done, but parenthood is a tough gig. When you are dealing with tantrums, picky palates, being pulled in 10 different directions there are days where it feels like bedtime will never come, for the kids or you. Then all of a sudden your baby is turning 15 and you fumble as you try to grasp back those years, if only for a moment. Believe me, it was no picnic when my oldest was a toddler, but I have a million moments that I look back on that warm my heart until it feels as though it is truly growing 3 sizes. (Grinch reference)
It is the bittersweet reminiscing that allows you to feel happiness in their growth and the life they have ahead of them, but the loss of innocence, childhood, and being able to keep your little ones close to you. But time trudges on no matter how much you pull at the hands of time trying to slow it down or turn back the years, and you have to keep finding joy in the moments, cause teenage-hood ain't no picnic either, at least not every second. Still there are still many many moments that warm my heart and I have to cherish those because it won't be too long before my sweet kiddos start to fly the coop and make nests of their own. In the meantime we live day to day, experiencing the frustrations, heartaches, happiness, and fun of having a family full of teenagers, toddlers, and everything in between. And each night I think back on the day and find at least one heartwarming moment or peek in on my sleeping kids because when they are asleep all innocence creeps back over their faces and they are angels in my eyes.

Back

I'm back. I just can't go without writing. I tried and have been itching to start again. So I'm back. That's it for now. Expect more...a lot more. :)