Parenting

Being a parent is incredible. It is incredibly difficult, incredibly rewarding, incredibly fun, and also incredibly exhausting (especially the older you get). Much of the difficult moments have nothing to do with your kids exactly; that is to say it isn't necessarily directly related to something they have done or not done. Much of it comes down to our expectations of ourselves as parents and guilt we often feel for not doing it all "the right way".
For example I go to bed each night feeling like I could've done better or here or done something differently there. Truth is I'm a pretty good parent, not perfect, but good. I love my kids, a lot, I feed them, I try to make sure they are clean and have all the other basic necessities of life. On top of that I try to make sure they have fun, that we have fun with them, and that they learn what they need to so that when the time comes and they move out they can clean and cook, and basically take care of themselves.
And yet, I still feel guilt. "I shouldn't have told Lilli to 'Hold on' so many times today."
"I should've spent more time talking to Emma instead of rushing when saying goodnight so I could finish cleaning the kitchen."
"I should've spent more time with Oscar helping him practice the song for his audition."
"I should've put down my work and watched the movie with Henry when he asked me to."
Obviously not earth-shattering but there is guilt, and there is room to improve.

I just read a post on another blog. I loved a lot of what she had to say. You can read the whole post here, but she was talking about how parenting is difficult and we aren't going to love every moment but there will be many moments that we love. I love that and wholeheartedly agree. The one thing I didn't agree with was when she said she was annoyed by being told to enjoy it because it all goes too fast. She said she doesn't really get annoyed by the people but the idea. I get both sides though. I know it goes by so fast, I know where these old ladies are coming from. Now that some of my kids are teenagers, I do miss those days when they were all little . I miss their antics, and the playgroups, and days at the park. I still have my younger kids but I miss the early days of parenting. I wouldn't trade it for where we are now but I wish I knew then how much I would come to cherish it all. But that is the thing about reminiscing, you get to remember the good things and let the bad fall to the wayside. That is the beauty of parenting. It is hard and sometimes thankless. It involves late nights, early mornings, and hours of work in between. In the end, however, it is worth it and you are happy to have been through the journey.
So you don't have to feel like you are doing something wrong if you don't "enjoy" every moment but take comfort in the fact that someday you will miss these days and look back on it all with fondness and tenderness. And someday you can tell someone how you loved these days too, but maybe let them know that it wasn't always easy, just very very worth it.